This past Father’s Day my son and I took a fast paced bike ride for almost 27 miles. It was a throughly fun experience to ride side by side, and each of us pushing the threshold trying to beat each other. I had a beautiful understanding of something that I had unconsciously started a few years ago.

I am the guy who did not know how to ride a bicycle when I signed up for my first Ironman race. I jumped into the world of triathlon without knowing 2 of the sports, namely swimming and biking. I took lessons. Trained, trained and trained. During that process, having not been around the kids due to my vigorous schedule, the kids found a way to be with me. They started doing shorter distances of biking and running with me while I biked or ran. So for example if I had a 16 mile run, then my son would ride 12 miles, and my daughter 4 miles. They kept pushing their own limits as I did the same. Till last year my son did ever increasing mileage on the cycle with me.

He eventually did 25, 35, 50, 75 miles on the bike along side me. A big jump for a then 12/13 year old. So as I hung back a little on this father son ride, I began to drift off in contemplation. I realized that unknowingly this moment was exactly why I had decided to become fit, or rather exercise and learn how to ride a bicycle. So that one day I could experience this very moment with him. For many who ride, it is quite common but I never grew up bicycling living in a very hot climate. I hated the outdoors and ergo all sports or any form of fitness and healthy activity.

It was as if my future self had guided my past self to get over my fears and get on to the bicycle, learn, and then in turn race, for the one sole purpose which was being fit enough to ride with my kids today. It was a powerful feeling as I saw him ahead of me, admiring the agility of youth and developing skills, yet in gratitude for being able to keep up and have the opportunity to ride alongside. Everything that I had trained for culminated towards this convergence of time and space. Who knows what other adventures he and I will undertake, in the world of triathlon or marathons or rowing together or solo.

For now, just enjoying the space to “play”, be his guide as long as he needs me, for once he is grown he will create his own wisdom, his own path and set of rules to follow. My hand in aide will always be there outstretched for the taking if needed, but I anticipate it will be less and less taken, as he will come into his own being and person. And I must be, nay I am comfortable with that milestone and the natural order in which I am to embrace the release of that relationship, and honor what it will form organically.

This is the insight that this Father’s Day offered me. I am a guide, not a zoo keeper ( even though some days feel like that). I do not know what my actions today will pervade into the future, but I trust that I am going to learn from each experience and create new ones, not knowing how they will manifest. At least I create the intention that I will be healthy and fit enough to be go bike riding with my grandkids. This was certainly not my trajectory till I made that conscious decision to get healthy all those years ago, and got off the couch, otherwise i wonder how many bike rides I would have missed and will have missed going forward. How many chances to keep my son company not realizing that these last few years of him learning to become a triathlete was so that he could keep me company !

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I love you