Last insight from my the long run race. This was the deepest of them all. I am not the fastest and I am known for bringing up the rear during any long race. That is fine, I am catching up quick. But this time I was definitely at the end, having been passed by many of my amazing fellow racers. I am on my last 10K of the 50 K ordeal. Just another 6 ish miles and I am done. This was the loneliest part of the race. All the squirrels and birds had left my orbit. No humans left to say “hi” to or walk or run with. Just me, my heart beat and my breathing.

It can be very solitary, especially once everything one wants to think about has been thought and said internally ( and externally). It was as if even my mind had left me. No thoughts. No mind. So as I ran the only “person” I could speak to was the universe. With no one around it was not hard to just shout out in the open at the sky “ What do you want from me?” “ Why am I here?” “ What is the meaning of this life?” Began the list of questions I demanded of my creator. Briefly I felt like stopping and waiting for the responses. I got none. I was not tired, so it was not because of physical fatigue that this happened. Perhaps a little mental exhaustion over the last 6 hours but it was more than that.

It was the silence that evoked these questions. It was the space that was being afforded for the answers to be heard. Tears flowed when I felt the replies did not come fast enough. I was impatient. The run did not stop. It was just the ego that needed finality, the heart was however keeping score as all hearts do.

You see our hearts plays in the space of infinite time. It keeps track of all hurts, wounds, joys, emotions, anything and everything ever felt by the body in this lifetime and across all lifetimes through its unique blueprint, much like a fingerprint or DNA. Each heart field feels everything including the pulse of all life. I realized the foolishness of my ego trying to extract the answers from an infinite sized pitcher of wisdom.

I know the replies would come. I was not alone. I never was, or will be. I felt the energies of everything around me, animate and inanimate. In that moment I suddenly felt more supported than ever. “The answers will come “ I heard, “ be patient”. It s when we have faith, trust and surrender, we know the magic of being cradled by the hand of the universe. It is in this state that neither the question nor the answer is needed or required. It is just the love of all things universe related when we become the one and realize that we are not APART but A PART of the one. We are the one universe experiencing itself.

I surrendered my race and entire run to the universe to experience itself as I am the universe having a physical limited moment. I chose in that moment to make it a great experience. I pushed myself, got the pace up and gave it my all to the finish line. I got my answers after all. I was here to run this race on this day. The universe wanted me to push my limits and be able to live to tell the tale, to inspire others to try hard things. The meaning behind all of it is to simply experience life, interact with it, yet be detached from it. Be inside and outside the sandbox of life.

All these experiences are none than than love at play, having a blast.

……………….

I love you